NBHHY

It's the day before ultrasound, and I've got those day-before-ultrasound jitters.

What will we see? Are they both still in there? Will we be far enough along for a heartbeat? Two heartbeats?

It's actually a little early for a heartbeat. Tomorrow I will be exactly 6 weeks, and most clinics generally wait until 6.5 weeks to do a heartbeat check. But Wednesday is the day that Dr T sees patients (I go to a teaching hospital, so his schedule is pretty regimented) and I would rather see him in person than one of the techs or fellows. Because I looooove Dr T.

I'm sure if there's no heartbeat yet they'll just have me come back next Wednesday. So I am really crossing my fingers for tomorrow.

Actually, my biggest fear is that one of the embryos will have simply disappeared. Or even both of them. I know there's no reason to expect that, but fear is anything but rational. And my two farthest-along miscarriages were both diagnosed by ultrasound, so ultrasound in early pregnancy is always pretty stressful for me.

Anyway, u/s is tomorrow at 1:45. We will have an out of town guest tomorrow, and we have plans for after the appointment and in the evening, so I'm not sure when I'll be home to update the blog. I will take the first opportunity, but it could be late tomorrow night.

Uh, not that everyone is hanging on my every word, but you know. I like frequent updates on the blogs I read, and when there is news, I want to know it. Because I'm impatient like that.

My only new symptom since my last post is that my super-duper fingernail growth has started. Whenever I'm pregnant, my nails just grow so strong and pretty. I'm always happy when it starts, because my nails are so crappy most of the time.

Otherwise, my symptoms are about the same. I still have a conflicted relationship with food. Sometimes I crave something, and when I get it, I'm happy. Other times, when I get it, I can't even eat one bite. The things I was eating last week now make me sick to think about. I'm still eating an apple every day.

I ran across this old entry on Day's blog, which is useful even for non-IVF pregnancies. Just a rundown of some myths about early symptoms and the truths. Very reassuring. Thanks, Day. I am thinking of you and Simon and Sal.

But mostly, through it all, I just keep reminding myself that nothing bad has happened yet.

Nothing bad has happened yet.