Waiting Around
So, I'm mostly just waiting for Monday and my second beta. Yeah, I was working, and this weekend I have several things to do, but you know I can't focus on anything other than what's going to happen with my number. Will it go up? Will it go up enough? Will it be the same? Will it go down?
Symptoms are still mostly the same as before: sore breasts, fatigue, irritability. I've also been having some weird cramping, but it's unlike anything I associate with my period. Kind of dull cramps down low, on the sides. Then yesterday morning at 9:30 about ten minutes of very strong cramps, it felt like my whole uterus was clenching like a fist. Ow. I was doubled over in my desk chair at work. Then it passed, just like that. Very weird.
The only other thing is this general icky feeling, which if I were drinking anything in the evenings I would likely call a hangover. Since all I drink is water, I am hoping it's morning sickness (albeit mild) and that it's caused by the HCG and the estrogen.
No sign of spotting so far, and strangely enough I haven't even been worrying about it. Normally I get stressed every time I go into the bathroom, while this time I'm having to remind myself to check. I don't know what this is, this lack of obsession with bad things. I am still fully aware that they can happen, but somehow I'm feeling less superstitious and more like it's out of my hands. What will be will be. Not that that'll make bad stuff any easier if it happens, but I'm definitely feeling differently this time than I have before. I told my husband that maybe I've finally learned that I can't control it. After five freakin' years of this I guess it's about time I learned something.
I'm so glad it's the weekend. I know I don't have much to complain about work-wise (especially when I read some of your horror stories about work) but still. Sometimes I just feel that my soul is being sucked away. I took two years off when we were living in Europe, as I couldn't work very easily there with my immigration status, and boy do I miss it. People always asked what the hell I did all day, but the truth is that I was quite happily occupied.
I have lots of stuff to do around the house, let's see if I can actually be productive today.
Symptoms are still mostly the same as before: sore breasts, fatigue, irritability. I've also been having some weird cramping, but it's unlike anything I associate with my period. Kind of dull cramps down low, on the sides. Then yesterday morning at 9:30 about ten minutes of very strong cramps, it felt like my whole uterus was clenching like a fist. Ow. I was doubled over in my desk chair at work. Then it passed, just like that. Very weird.
The only other thing is this general icky feeling, which if I were drinking anything in the evenings I would likely call a hangover. Since all I drink is water, I am hoping it's morning sickness (albeit mild) and that it's caused by the HCG and the estrogen.
No sign of spotting so far, and strangely enough I haven't even been worrying about it. Normally I get stressed every time I go into the bathroom, while this time I'm having to remind myself to check. I don't know what this is, this lack of obsession with bad things. I am still fully aware that they can happen, but somehow I'm feeling less superstitious and more like it's out of my hands. What will be will be. Not that that'll make bad stuff any easier if it happens, but I'm definitely feeling differently this time than I have before. I told my husband that maybe I've finally learned that I can't control it. After five freakin' years of this I guess it's about time I learned something.
I'm so glad it's the weekend. I know I don't have much to complain about work-wise (especially when I read some of your horror stories about work) but still. Sometimes I just feel that my soul is being sucked away. I took two years off when we were living in Europe, as I couldn't work very easily there with my immigration status, and boy do I miss it. People always asked what the hell I did all day, but the truth is that I was quite happily occupied.
I have lots of stuff to do around the house, let's see if I can actually be productive today.
3 Comments:
How are you doing? Tell us more about what you did when you weren't working and whether you'd want to be not working at home.
I spent several years in Europe sort of working and it's completely different when you can walk everywhere and there is so much going on culturally. Where I currently live people work, go home, watch tv and drive their cars - I feel like if I didn't work I'd be completely isolated.
Where did you live in Germany?
I'm just trying to distract you!
By
moi, at 8:21 AM
Speaking of waiting around, where are those second beta results? I'm ready for some good news!
By
Mellie, at 12:18 PM
Waiting to hear with you!
By
Amanda, at 12:49 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home