Friday is a welcome friend
I just woke up to awesome news: Simon is here! Congratulations, Day and Sal! What wonderful news!
I also want to say thanks to my readers for all the nice comments on my last post. I appreciate your interest and support. I know that it can sometimes be hard to feel happy when other people (even other infertiles) get pregnant, and I completely understand that because I feel it myself at times, so I am doubly grateful for your excitement over the progress we've made. Thank you.
I am still holding myself back from the excitement, although we're far enough in now that if things go bad, it will be very hard to handle. We passed a significant point in my own mind on Wednesday -- the heartbeats make things so much more real. Of course, I know there's nothing we can do now but wait and see. On Wednesday, looking at the screen, Dr T said, "It's all up to them now." I have always hated suspense, in all its forms.
What I would prefer to hold myself back from would be the fatigue, queasiness, and weirdness about food. Unfortunately, those appear to be getting progressively worse with each passing day. Dr T beamed when I told him I wasn't feeling so hot, and said, "That's what we like to see! You feeling sick as a dog, and those embryos growing." I understand the sentiment, but I wish he hadn't said it in front of my husband. He obviously doesn't need this kind of bad example, because yesterday morning when I said that I was feeling gross, he said he was glad. WRONG ANSWER. Later he relented, and told me that he was sorry I wasn't feeling good, but that he is very happy I'm pregnant.
And I am happy about it too, in my own way, under the weight of all this horrible suspense. The hormones are definitely wearing on me and I'm feeling less energetic by the day -- to the point that I think I am going to talk to my boss today about possibly working from home for a couple of days a week through the summer. She knows about our past struggles but I haven't mentioned anything to her about the current situation. It's early to be telling, but with the way I'm feeling, I think it's going to be necessary.
And finally, thank goodness it's the weekend. The weather's not going to be that great, but that's okay with me. I have lots of quality sleeping time planned.
I also want to say thanks to my readers for all the nice comments on my last post. I appreciate your interest and support. I know that it can sometimes be hard to feel happy when other people (even other infertiles) get pregnant, and I completely understand that because I feel it myself at times, so I am doubly grateful for your excitement over the progress we've made. Thank you.
I am still holding myself back from the excitement, although we're far enough in now that if things go bad, it will be very hard to handle. We passed a significant point in my own mind on Wednesday -- the heartbeats make things so much more real. Of course, I know there's nothing we can do now but wait and see. On Wednesday, looking at the screen, Dr T said, "It's all up to them now." I have always hated suspense, in all its forms.
What I would prefer to hold myself back from would be the fatigue, queasiness, and weirdness about food. Unfortunately, those appear to be getting progressively worse with each passing day. Dr T beamed when I told him I wasn't feeling so hot, and said, "That's what we like to see! You feeling sick as a dog, and those embryos growing." I understand the sentiment, but I wish he hadn't said it in front of my husband. He obviously doesn't need this kind of bad example, because yesterday morning when I said that I was feeling gross, he said he was glad. WRONG ANSWER. Later he relented, and told me that he was sorry I wasn't feeling good, but that he is very happy I'm pregnant.
And I am happy about it too, in my own way, under the weight of all this horrible suspense. The hormones are definitely wearing on me and I'm feeling less energetic by the day -- to the point that I think I am going to talk to my boss today about possibly working from home for a couple of days a week through the summer. She knows about our past struggles but I haven't mentioned anything to her about the current situation. It's early to be telling, but with the way I'm feeling, I think it's going to be necessary.
And finally, thank goodness it's the weekend. The weather's not going to be that great, but that's okay with me. I have lots of quality sleeping time planned.
4 Comments:
You know I feel your pain. I hope this next process isn't too bad and you can get through it to feel great in a few weeks.
Talking to the boss is probably not a bad idea.
Hang in there! All for a good cause (even though I hated it when people said that to me too ;) )
By
Amanda, at 8:04 AM
Good luck over these crucial weeks. Hope all continues to go well.
By
Anne, at 9:47 AM
Susie, Is there a magic week number in your mind for when you think you'll allow yourself to feel excited? I wonder for myself if/when I get pregnant when I'll allow it to be real, and I haven't had the heartbreak you've had.
By
Mellie, at 10:43 AM
Mellie, I feel like these next five or six weeks are very critical. Most of my losses have occurred between weeks 6 and 10. I will feel much better when we are past that point, although of course anything can happen.
Still, I AM excited in a way, because how could I not be? And I'm way calmer with this pregnancy than I have been with most of my others, I think because it seems to be going so much better than the others. But I knew it would be stressful when it worked, and it really is.
And I think you'll do great when you get pregnant. There's no reason to expect problems once you get pregnant, it's only because of my history that I have a hard time letting go and just being happy. I hope things will be very different for you.
By
Susie, at 11:07 AM
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