Disjointed, but alive.

It's hard to know what to say now. I don't feel loquacious. I'm still reading your blogs. I'm so glad for the good news, and so very sad for the bad news.

Around here things have settled into a pattern, mostly involving laundry, the grocery store, the park, and lots of playtime. Alex loves to spend most of his day standing up on his tiny feet, holding onto my thumbs. Sometimes we dance to Harry Belafonte, the Monkees, or the Bee Gees. When I have to go change the laundry over or cook dinner, he tolerates the bouncy seat or the pack-n-play. He's starting to enjoy his toys a lot more. He naps in his crib, a little, and sleeps in it well at night. I'm enjoying being at home with him. I don't plan to return to work full time, although I have done some part-time hours here and there, which helps a bit.

He had his four-month appointment last week. He's been growing like crazy. The doctor told us to start feeding him rice cereal, so we did that this weekend. He's still getting used to it. Breakfast today dissolved into a trail of tears, but the pre-bedtime cereal tonight was a big hit.

Here's a recent picture. He weighs almost 16 pounds now -- he's doubled his birthweight.



I'm also feeling much more settled in as his mother. At last! Although I still have irrational fears from time to time, mostly about the future. I worry about bullying. I don't know why. I think it's kind of crazy, but maybe my brain just needs something to worry about. I think I'm probably wired that way.