Lots to say, no time

It probably seems like I've dropped off the face of the earth since Alex was born. Sorry about that. The truth is that there's much going on that I'd like to write about, but there's very little time.

The change from pregnant to parent has been pretty mind-blowing. We are so glad to have Alex here and are trying to enjoy every second. But there have been some stresses besides the usual sleepless nights you expect with a newborn.

Breastfeeding has been very hard. After a beautiful first night together where he latched like a dream, we got off to a rocky start once he was put in the NICU for two days to treat the low blood sugar that was a result of my gestational diabetes. To wean him from the glucose IV we had to use formula, which cut back on our nursing time and caused my milk to come in very slowly. There may also have been hormonal factors on my part but I don't know for sure. I've been working with lactation consultants and trying all kinds of things, but it's been very hard to let go of the hope that I would be able to nurse him exclusively and we would be a happy breastfeeding pair.

In any case the milk never really came in right and he was still taking supplemental formula two weeks after birth, when I was unexpectedly diagnosed with bad gallstones (after a night of excruciating pain that sent me to the emergency room). This was Thursday. I am meeting with a surgeon Tuesday morning and have been warned that I will most likely need to have the gall bladder removed next week. My m-i-l is here helping now, thank goodness, but all of this has complicated the breastfeeding problems because Alex is now taking mostly bottles of formula and my milk is really not in. (Pain causes milk production to go down, then there was the whole day I spent away from him in the ER, etc.)

But you know what? No matter what has turned out differently from how I wanted or hoped, I have a beautiful little boy. And it's all going to be okay. When I was in the ER the other day, an ultrasound technician came to take me down for an u/s of my gall bladder. And I recognized the guy, he did several of my ultrasounds during the third trimester for my GD monitoring. So I told him that I have a little two week old son now. And as he was wheeling my gurney into the ultrasound room, I said to him how much better it was to be coming down there for something other than a complication or threat to my pregnancy. I don't think it was the morphine talking, either. Thank God Alex is here safely. We'll get through this part and we'll all be fine.