A Very Late Update
I can't believe it's been so embarassingly long since I've posted. Over a year. You know how it is - you let the silence go on for so long that you can't imagine how to come back and jump in. But if anyone still has this blog on their reader, I owe you an update.
Baby Boy 2 arrived right on schedule in January. He is nearly nine months old. Most everything was much easier the second time around - breastfeeding, sleeping, adjusting to a newborn. He is an easier baby to please than his brother was - although Alex was not difficult. He started full time daycare before 4 months so I could accept a contract position through the end of the year. After nine months of unemployment, I was very grateful to have the opportunity to help support my family - even if I missed being with the little guy. He is so easy to take care of that they love him at daycare, and he is happy wherever he spends the day.
So my contract does expire at the end of the year. I won't be able to return to this company as a consultant, and having worked there for the past five years, most of my network is there. I am in a quandary. I've tried in the past to become a direct employee, but I generally end up being the second choice candidate. Now there's a chance I could get an offer, but I would have to relocate my family and our lifestyle would change considerably (husband and I would both have long commutes in opposite directions). And we would have to sell the home we love, where we had hoped to settle with our boys.
It is causing me a lot of stress and anxiety - and then I feel guilty because at least there is the chance I'll have an opportunity. I'm not sure yet how it would all work out if I got this job, but the alternative - my being unemployed again - is not manageable for us. If we lose my income again, drastic measures will not be far behind. And when I say "drastic," I truly mean extreme. We tapped out our reserves during the last period of unemployment, and we've just been trying to catch up since then.
So it feels like I'm caught in quicksand. I hope I get the job, but I dread it, too. There are many ways in which it is not ideal, beyond the move and the commute. I am trying to find other options, other jobs to apply for that would not require a move, but they either don't exist or (when there are postings) I get no traction. My experience is solid, so I assume this is fallout from the recession. And at the same time, I feel guilty about the whole situation, because I know there are people in straits much more dire.
And I miss my baby. I never did full-time daycare with Alex, because I was working part time then (and actually didn't work at all until he was 7 months old), and I miss having more time with the children. So that adds an edge that I don't know how to deal with. But again - what's the answer? I have the chance to work right now. I may not have it come January. And if I do have the chance, I'll have to take it.
But it's not all doom and gloom. I have two boys that make me laugh every day. The baby is crawling, standing, cruising and waving. He's signing "milk," but his first spoken word was "mama." You really can't beat that. And Alex told me recently that when he gets big enough to lose a tooth, the tooth fairy is going to bring him five hundred dollars. If that's the case, I may try to get in on the action myself.
Baby Boy 2 arrived right on schedule in January. He is nearly nine months old. Most everything was much easier the second time around - breastfeeding, sleeping, adjusting to a newborn. He is an easier baby to please than his brother was - although Alex was not difficult. He started full time daycare before 4 months so I could accept a contract position through the end of the year. After nine months of unemployment, I was very grateful to have the opportunity to help support my family - even if I missed being with the little guy. He is so easy to take care of that they love him at daycare, and he is happy wherever he spends the day.
So my contract does expire at the end of the year. I won't be able to return to this company as a consultant, and having worked there for the past five years, most of my network is there. I am in a quandary. I've tried in the past to become a direct employee, but I generally end up being the second choice candidate. Now there's a chance I could get an offer, but I would have to relocate my family and our lifestyle would change considerably (husband and I would both have long commutes in opposite directions). And we would have to sell the home we love, where we had hoped to settle with our boys.
It is causing me a lot of stress and anxiety - and then I feel guilty because at least there is the chance I'll have an opportunity. I'm not sure yet how it would all work out if I got this job, but the alternative - my being unemployed again - is not manageable for us. If we lose my income again, drastic measures will not be far behind. And when I say "drastic," I truly mean extreme. We tapped out our reserves during the last period of unemployment, and we've just been trying to catch up since then.
So it feels like I'm caught in quicksand. I hope I get the job, but I dread it, too. There are many ways in which it is not ideal, beyond the move and the commute. I am trying to find other options, other jobs to apply for that would not require a move, but they either don't exist or (when there are postings) I get no traction. My experience is solid, so I assume this is fallout from the recession. And at the same time, I feel guilty about the whole situation, because I know there are people in straits much more dire.
And I miss my baby. I never did full-time daycare with Alex, because I was working part time then (and actually didn't work at all until he was 7 months old), and I miss having more time with the children. So that adds an edge that I don't know how to deal with. But again - what's the answer? I have the chance to work right now. I may not have it come January. And if I do have the chance, I'll have to take it.
But it's not all doom and gloom. I have two boys that make me laugh every day. The baby is crawling, standing, cruising and waving. He's signing "milk," but his first spoken word was "mama." You really can't beat that. And Alex told me recently that when he gets big enough to lose a tooth, the tooth fairy is going to bring him five hundred dollars. If that's the case, I may try to get in on the action myself.
2 Comments:
It's good to hear from you. I appreciate the update, because I'm all too aware how difficult it can be to post when you haven't done so in a while. I'll keep my fingers crossed that the job situation works out.
By
amanda, at 3:04 PM
Hello! I know you don't know me, but we've got something in common. I got your blog address off the Stirrup Queen's blogroll and was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping me help a couple who is trying to add a little one to their family. We're holding a silent auction for them this weekend (Friday and Saturday) on goteamwitt.blogspot.com and need help getting the word out! We would love it if you would spread the word via social media or here on your blog. Additionally, we are always looking for more donations to auction off, so if you or someone you know might be interested in making a donation, all the information is under the donate tab. If you have any questions or would be willing to post a pre-written blog post about the auction and the sponsored couple, please contact Kristin at goteamwitt@gmail.com Thanks in advance for taking the time to consider this!
By
Kristin, at 5:53 PM
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